With pomp, power & glory the world beckons vainly,
In chase of such vanities, why should I roam?

While peace & content bless my little thatched cottage,
And warm my own hearth with the treasures of home.
~ Beatrix Potter

Read more over on MamaBuzz….

There’s no way to protect our children from everything that is out there in this world.  Personally, I don’t feel that we should.  I feel we should educate our children as to what they’re going to face when they take their first steps out that door, into that big world, on their own.  But lately, I’ve started to notice some things.  In really working towards becoming an advocate for those who have been trampled within the sex trafficking industry, my eyes and ears have become alert to more and more things that are going on around me, whether outside our home or even on that box that has the ability to bring “anything and everything” into our home (if we allow it to do so).  It really hit me last night, as I was watching an episode of one of my favorite shows, and a guy was encouraged to “Go to Las Vegas because there’s a whole industry there.”  I just about dropped my mouth to the floor, I was so disappointed.  Not that the show is completely innocent anyway, but that just hit home for me how complacent we have become as a society.

When is it ok for someone to go ease their stress in Las Vegas….because “there’s a whole industry there for that?”  Just in case you don’t know what I mean, they’re talking about the prostitution industry.  The whole Amazon controversy last week had me up in arms, I will tell you that.  Since when is pedophilia not “a crime,” Amazon?  Why are we worried about censorship on such an evil crime committed against many children?  (I could write a whole other post about this.)  It’s not just prostitution and trafficking and pedophilia that hit me square in the face, though.  I realized, as my 3 year old son was watching what should be a playful kid’s movie this week, how much evil was within that movie….I could not believe my ears.  Needless to say, I deleted the movie from our DVR. I’m ashamed that we even had it on our DVR.

I guess I let myself become a bit complacent; I confess I wasn’t paying enough attention.  It’s something we may all be guilty of.  Don’t get me wrong; there are some wonderful shows and movies out there….but as a parent and as a potential advocate, I’m becoming more aware.  I just think it’s really sad how certain shows/media/etc. try to almost sneak things into these shows….sometimes all in the name of making movies both parent & kid friendly.  It makes me sad that one of my fave shows had to almost encourage prostitution….it makes me sad for all of the women and girls who are trapped in that industry.  It makes me sad that we are slowly letting things like this creep into our minds….

I’m waking up….are you?

It seems lately that God has put a situation before me, in which my patience is being tested….a new person has come into the picture (in this particular situation, a situation outside of all my blogging ventures, so none of you have to worry), and with her, she has brought all kinds of drama.  Drama queen, I am not; drama queen, I do not want to be around; drama queen, I do not want to constantly have to deal with in said situation, in which things were perfectly peaceful and wonderful before.:)LOL  Ok, so things weren’t perfect, but they were pretty wonderful.:)  Said person has not made very many friends in said situation.  (I’m being vague here because I don’t want anyone from “said situation” to read and feel that I’m gossiping, which I do NOT want to do.)

Sometimes God brings people into our lives who are going to test every fiber of our patience, and we have to choose to find that balance between saying something or letting things go.  Do I choose to overlook the rudeness and stand up for myself?  My husband and I had this particular conversation today when I came home from church this morning, venting to him.  (Don’t worry, it’s none of my small group friends either;))  With what she had done, he thought I should have stuck up for myself, and I’m inclined to think so too.  I’ve been rather of a pushover so far, and she knows that; she doesn’t expect quiet little me to say anything.  However, I saw what she did to both me and my friend, and I chose to walk away for a few minutes before I said the first thing that might just fly out of my mouth.  Next time, I may not walk away; I may face the battles head on….but this morning, I chose to pick my battles and walk away.  I felt that it wasn’t that big of a deal, and I didn’t want to be petty.  However, what she did, as my husband said….it did merit me standing up for myself, though in a nice way.

How do you handle situations like this where there’s drama and sometimes conflict that you never asked for; a situation in which it almost feels like you have a huge target on your back, for which no clear reason exists?  How do you find that balance?  I’m learning as I go, and I think it just depends on the time, the person, and the situation.  It depends on whether or not you standing up for yourself would conflict with what the Holy Spirit speaks to your heart in that given moment. Those are just my random thoughts regarding the latest “drama” in my life.

What are your thoughts?

Monster Inside My Daughter

“I feel a pulse,” one of the medics said.

The paramedics worked feverishly on Manisha to make sure she was still alive. My beautiful seven-year-old daughter from Nepal lay on the floor unconscious at the O’Connell Center of the University of Florida.

“Has she ever had a seizure?” another one asked.

“No, no,” I said in bewilderment. Manisha rolled over and vomited.

One emotion consumed me: Fear. The enormity of single parenting hit me like lightning.
I cried out, “Where are you, God? I feel so alone.”

After hooking up stabilizing IV’s, Manisha was whisked off in an ambulance to Shands Teaching Hospital. I found a pay phone and called my mother. Her first comment was, “Do you know what day this is?”

I remembered—September 19. Four years to the day and almost to the hour, my father had died of a brain tumor. It was about 5:00 p.m. My shattered world continued to close in on me. A short time later my worst fears were confirmed.

“There is something on the CAT scan. We have a called a neurologist,” I heard the nurse say.

“No, no, no,” every cell in my body cried out. “God, you can’t let this happen. Not again!”

But God was silent. The next nine days of hospitalization were filled with tests—MRI, gallium scan, spinal tap, TB test, HIV test, numerous blood draws, and too many questions and not enough answers by doctors doing their daily rounds with medical students in tow. Manisha had what in medical parlance is called a “zebra.”

As the days passed in the hospital, I asked God for two things that humanly speaking seemed impossible. I prayed first that the doctors would not have to do surgery. I couldn’t bear the thought of seeing Manisha’s beautiful thick, curly black hair shaved off. The ugly scars of surgery still lingered in my mind from my dad’s brain surgery. And I prayed that whatever was in Manisha’s head would not be cancerous. I had asked God to heal my father of a brain tumor and he died. Could I trust God for Manisha’s healing?

It was critical that the doctors make the correct diagnosis. The wrong treatment could kill her. Did she have a malignant brain tumor or a worm inside her head? Manisha had been adopted by me from Nepal at the age of three—old enough to be exposed to the extreme poverty of Nepal and lack of clean drinking water. Over fifty-seven percent of the water in Nepal is considered unsatisfactory for human consumption, contaminated with feces.

It was Neurocysticercosis—the most common parasitic infection of the nervous system. The larvae can travel anywhere in the body—the muscles, brain, eye, and other structures. The condition is still relatively rare in this country, but increasingly is appearing on the radar as part of the differential diagnosis for seizures.

Thankfully, twelve years later, Manisha is a well-adjusted 19-year-old just finishing high school and taking college classes.

Why did God allow this nightmare to happen? I don’t know why God allows the hard things in our lives, but I do know God never wastes anything. I hope writing about neurocysticercosis today will bring awareness to this very preventable disease. International adoptive parents and travelers to the developing world should seek appropriate medical care upon returning to the U.S. if they have been exposed to poor sanitary conditions or contaminated water.

In spite of the trials of single parenting, the years following that dreadful day of September 19, 1994, have been filled with life and joy. Manisha soon will be leaving home to make her own way in the world and I reflect on her middle name Hope—with God, there is always hope, and for that I am thankful.

For more on Manisha’s story, be sure to watch Animal Planet’s “Monsters Inside Me” on August 25, 10-11pm EST. Her story is also published in Children of Dreams, available at Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble, and your local bookstores.

Lorilyn Roberts graduated Magna Cum Laude from the University of Alabama and is currently working on her Master of Arts in Creative Writing from Perelandra College. As a Certified Court Reporter, Lorilyn has made contributions to the National Court Reporters Association Journal. She provides real-time broadcast captioning for television. Lorilyn’s first book, The Donkey and the King, is a beautifully illustrated children’s book. She also co-leads Word Weavers in Gainesville, FL. When not writing, taking graduate classes, or closed captioning for television/web, Lorilyn homeschools her younger daughter, Joy.

Lorilyn is offering a drawing for a free copy of Children of Dreams on her website and blog. The drawing will be on September 1, 2010. Go to the website for details.

Website address: http://www.lorilynroberts.com/blog.html
Blog address: http://lorilynroberts.blogspot.com/

On a more serious note, though, even though I wanted to lose the whole 10 pounds, I’m happy with what I’ve done.  The past couple weeks, I’ll be honest….I haven’t been walking.  So, I know that if I had been exercising faithfully, I would have probably lost the weight.  Yes, I was sick, and yes, we’ve been running around like chickens with our heads cut off, but it’s still not an excuse.

I’m still really happy that I can fit into my pants….it means I have to wear a belt more often than not, but I’m pretty happy right now, in my own skin.  There’s still a long way to go to reach my ultimate goal of losing 33 more pounds.  My ultimate goal is health.  While I was in New York, I had my cholesterol checked, and my numbers were good, but my HDL (good cholesterol) was a bit on the low end.  This motivated me even more because I know one of the ways to help raise that good cholesterol is to really exercise and get fit.  A couple of years ago, I was training for boot camp (long story), and the weight I was then (which was around 145) was the healthiest I have ever felt.  That’s where I want to get back to….that healthy feeling of not being completely winded when I walk or run, that feeling of energy, that feeling of all the stress melting away because my head is clear, and I feel so good.  That’s my ultimate goal…..

Another thing I got to do while at Blogher was to enter a Just Dance competition, which was so much fun!  I’ve decided to buy that game for Dan and myself (with the awesome coupon they sent us home with), because sometimes you just gotta have a little fun with exercise, and what better way than to dance those pounds off?:)

So, if you’re trying to lose weight, keep trudging on.  Keep trudging on because that feeling will come for you too.  The energy will return, and you’ll be a completely new person.  Keep working because it will all be worth it in the end.  We can do this….you can do this.  I promise when I get back from Colorado, I’ll post a new pic to record my progress.:)  Share your journey; leave a comment.

We’ve been debating over moving his computer in from the garage (where he has a little office set up, since he closed his local shop here in the town where we live; he still has his other shop) and putting it in what is now the office/craft room/school room.  The hard part is that it means giving up my schoolroom….and for some, that might be a piece of cake.  But it’s been a tough decision.  I’m not upset over it; I see the need for Dan to bring his computer in.  It would definitely give us so much more working room in the garage, and he’d be in the house, out of the heat, now that summer’s here.  So, it’s time….

It’s time for me to say goodbye to my schoolroom, which on the one hand is kinda sad, but on the other hand, it’s like a new beginning of sorts.  For one thing, we’ll be clearing out all the school clutter, which will be re-organized and sorted onto shelves and cupboards in our dining room.  Everything will have a place, so it doesn’t clutter up our dining room.  The dining room will probably be a much better place for school anyway, as it will be much more interactive for both my boys.  We’ll have so much more room for projects and things.  Plus, our map covers our entire kitchen table underneath a piece of clear vinyl I picked up in the fabric section (I got this idea from another homeschool blogger, but I can’t remember who; I’m so sorry I can’t give due credit).  Not sure where all our posters and things will go, but we’ll figure it out….

I’m actually excited for this new beginning.  It may seem small, yet it’s not for me.  You see, in marriage there are all kinds of sacrifices that have to be made.  There just are; it’s a given, especially if your ultimate goal is to grow old together and still be in love, to honor and cherish the one you vowed to be with for the rest of your life.  I’m excited for Dan to get in out of the heat, and I’m excited to have a newly reorganized school space.  There’s a twinge of sadness at giving up this space, yet there’s so much more happiness at providing a space that Dan truly needs.  In the winter, there was heat in the garage, and it worked out great….but now that summer’s here, it’s just not working, and if I can give to him, then why shouldn’t I?  Please don’t get me wrong here; I’m not trying to toot my own horn AT ALL.  I’m simply trying to make the point that if we, as wives, can give something of value to our husbands, then why shouldn’t we?  What’s stopping us from sacrificing and giving to them, in love?  As wives, we need to provide for their needs, as well, which could include giving up a school room or even something as small as a closet or cupboard.  Hey, and I look at it this way….I’ll get to spend even more time with him because when I’m working on my blog or on MamaBuzz or on school plans or crafting, or whatever….he’ll be right behind me. For Dan and I, we’ve had to really think about it; he didn’t want to infringe upon the schoolroom, and we both weren’t sure if we wanted it in the dining room….but after the last week of just on and off talking it over, it’s time….

Is there something you’re hanging onto….something that could ultimately bless both you and your honey if you were to just let go?

For more Motivate Me Monday, visit Sarah at The Fifth Street Palace.